my grandfather (pop pop, as i and everyone else call him) is the one who married us. he was the pastor of the church i attended as a child for over twenty years, and any spirituality i have has definitely been passed from him. i had considered hiring a rando to marry us so that pop pop could just ~enjoy~ the wedding, but i truly couldn’t imagine anyone else doing it. he actually stopped performing marriage ceremonies a few years ago, but came out of retirement for me 😉 to have someone who’s been a part of so many exclamations of love, so many family beginnings, so many heartfelt moments, be the one to marry us… i felt enveloped in the history of love.

as the ceremony time ticked past me, a member of the venue staff told me that there were still a lot of empty chairs. i honestly should have forseen this, since we were supposed to start walking at 4:30. on a weekday. when every other person on the planet is leaving work. we held the processional about 20-25 minutes and it honestly didn’t bother me at all. i’m late to everything, i have no space to complain.

the boys walked out with my grandfather, to a jazz version of “there’s a great big beautiful tomorrow.” it sounds hokey but was actually perfect for… well, all of them. big goofy disney nerds in love with love and each other. my folks also ended up scooting out to this song, even though they weren’t supposed to, because the dj…. didn’t know? didn’t understand? got there super late and didn’t check in? you pick!

i walked in to sza.

there were these big white doors at the end of the aisle hiding me from everyone else, and they opened them as the guitar began to play. the sun was glowing over everyone, and i was overwhelmed by all of the familiar faces that traveled from near and far. i definitely walked too fast. it’s okay! jake was at the end, and that’s all that really mattered to me.

after a few words, a poem that jake and i love was read by terrence. that poem, ‘you came too,’ is by nikki giovanni. i’ve included it below if you wanna, like, cry, or whatever…

i came to the crowd seeking friends
i came to the crowd seeking love
i came to the crowd for understanding

i found you

i came to the crowd to weep
i came to the crowd to laugh

you dried my tears
you shared my happiness

i went from the crowd seeking you
i went from the crowd seeking me
i went from the crowd forever

you came, too

our whole ceremony was gorgeous, and i cried for about 83% of it.

especially so, when my grandfather performed our handfasting. handfasting was originally the celtic term for wedding, but has evolved into the name for the ceremony of “tying the knot.” we chose to use three ribbons, each to represent a part of our lives: past, present, and future. the past specifically speaks to the loss of my brother. the pain of his death is something that has affected everyone in my family and through them, everyone else i know. to me, our wedding was a moment of healing for all of us.

the present represented the friends and family that were at the ceremony, as well as those who couldn’t make it. every person who has loved and supported us has helped us learn and grow about each other, and made us a better pair. the future is of course…. just that. our future life as a unit. whatever joy or sadness we experience, whatever triumphs or trials we face, we will do them together.

walking back down the aisle together with our hands tied to each other, the day became a blur. a happy, comfortable, beautiful blur.

we went inside the classroom where we had our first look to wait for the rest of our party. as they started running in, we were all crying and laughing and for some reason– dancing like small world dolls. why? couldn’t tell ya!

everyone trickled out into cocktail hour while we took family photos. this was a much longer and arduous process than i preferred, but that’s family i guess! i know they’re gonna be worth it when we’re all old and ugly (since we are all currently young and beautiful). when we finally got inside, someone had stowed away two of the special cocktails my uncle josh had cooked up. thank goodness, because almost every single person at our wedding had chosen to drink that over wine or beer, and we were out before the reception even began. it was delicious, no doubt thanks to noah’s fizzy lemonade, created by my brilliant cousin noah. josh combined the lemonade with vermont-specific spirits, so i got a little northeast flavor in my day after all. after the wedding my mom ended up returning a ton of alcohol, simply because of this cocktail’s impact, so thanks y’all for being budget friendly!

the reception deserves it’s own post, mostly so i can revel in the beauty of my guests and show you what amazing dancers they all are. so. much. happened! to give you a little teaser, we opted to forgo the traditional wedding cake in favor of something more fun: an ice cream truck. i will say no more! you’ll just have to wait! xx, k.

all fancy photos in this post were taken by the incredible madeline barr.